Lady Sydney

That was lovely, although I think it could have been better had you added more description. Why should your readers care about Jake being your perfect guy? Give us some ...

This seemed pretty good, but you might want to add in some punctuation and break it up into stanzas. I liked the flow and content, but it could use a ...

Every body trips and has times where they fall. And are so worthy but feel[s]s[/s] so small. Sometimes it's so hard to live stable and stay on track . And ...

I'm... not sure I know what's going on. :? That could just be me, though. lol You had some nice description in there and I could follow your rhythm. I ...

Nice, very nice. I liked the idea behind it, but it seems like something's missing that would make this "fantastic". I can't put my finger on it, but it's there. ...

Hey, there. ^_^ I liked the content of your chapter, but it didn't really go anywhere and there wasn't much to visualize. I noticed your main issue in this piece ...

That was great! I loved every stanza except for the first one. The rhyme seemed kind of forced, to me. But, other than that, this was really good. :) Your ...

I agree with Lauren Malfoy, and I also noticed that you had two typos in your first stanza. The parts that I fixed are bolded: To every heart I have ...

I... don't get it. :? I read it three times, and still didn't get your point. Perhaps work on making it clearer with some imagery and cut out the repetition ...

That was amazing. Truly. I know absolutely squat about poetry, so I don't think I can give you a proper critique. The two poems that you saw written by me ...

Ok, so here I am... again. ^_^ But, uhh, you might want to space this out or else it makes your piece look a bit sloppy and overwhelming to the ...

Before anyone even bothers to look at this, it would be a good idea for you to post your chapters separately and at different times. Post chapter one, no others, ...

Meanwhile , Jason was at home touching up some pictures for Fonda’s story. It didn’t take long for him to hear the urgent cry on Down and South. The sound ...

Hey there! I'm very lazy, so I think I'm just going to go ahead and critique your story as I read it, rather than when I've finished it. :wink: So, ...

Very nice, very nice. I tried going back through this to see if I could find any errors, but I couldn't spot them, so I'll leave that to Squallz or ...